🟣 An Important Message from the Playfair Department of Public Safety and Traffic

Dated: May 2, 2025
Issued by: Department of Public Safety and Traffic Infrastructure Coordination
Classification: Level 2 Vegetative Disruption

Residents and visitors are advised that, as of this morning, an unexpected ecological bloom has been reported at the intersection of Carousel Lane and Pine Street.

The affected area currently resembles a dense tropical environment spanning one block. Initial readings indicate rapid flora growth, light humidity shifts, and the audible presence of unfamiliar birdcalls. At this time, no species have been positively identified. Officials have yet to determine if the jungle is part of the Amazon or Congo, but have ruled out the New Guinea Rainforest.

The Department of Public Safety and Traffic is currently working in coordination with the Stabilization Crew, who were last seen entering the area around 7:40 AM. Contact with the team is temporarily unavailable. This is not uncommon during foliage-based distortions and does not imply compromise.

If you were planning to travel through Carousel Lane or adjacent routes, please use marked detours until stabilization protocols are complete. Alternate routes include Old Quarry Road, Benson Avenue, or any street that remains both visible and correctly numbered.

Please do not engage with the jungle, offer it snacks, or attempt to record time while inside the affected zone. Residents are reminded that GPS and compasses may fail in areas of high growth.

Further updates will be issued as the situation develops or if the foliage begins responding to stimuli.

We appreciate your calm and patience during this minor disruption.
As always — Everything is Fine.