🧱 Clarification Regarding Alleyway Structures Near Marigold Diner

Posted by: Playfair Department of Urban Planning and Dimensional Integrity
Date: May 10, 2025

In response to resident inquiries, the Department would like to clarify several points regarding the recently observed stone archway in the alley behind Marigold Diner.

Key Findings:

• Current zoning maps list no structure in that location.

• Historical aerial photos do not include the alley itself.

• Several residents claim the alley has always been there, while others recall a dumpster, a bike rack, or “just wind.”

This variance is well within acceptable margins of municipal memory distortion.

The arch appears to be moss-covered, structurally sound, and resonating at a low harmonic frequency. While it may be glowing faintly, residents are reminded that bioluminescence is not inherently a cause for concern.

At this time, the Department recommends:

• Do not enter the arch

• Do not throw objects through the arch

• If the arch whispers to you, write it down, but do not act on its suggestions

• If your pet refuses to go near it, respect their instincts

A temporary barrier will be installed once staff can approach it without experiencing spatial hesitation.

We thank you for your cooperation as we reassess alley-based architecture throughout town.

Everything is Fine. There is no alley.